Time Is (Not) On Their Side

In case the recent attempted revival at the Super Bowl of Mick Jagger and the (barely) Rolling Stones didn't convince you, there is new evidence of the horrible ravages that a life of booze, drugs and never-ending parties will inflict on your body.


Former rock guitarist Eddie Van Halen apparently climbed out of the grave last Sunday to appear at one of the many star-studded Hollywood parties surrounding the Oscar weekend.

Anthropologists and medical schools worldwide are reportedly clamoring for the rights to study the musician's mummified remains.