Texas Machete Massacre

Everyone laughed when the "progressive" minded Massachusetts legislature recently introduced a bill requiring citizens to register and license all machetes.

Any individual who requires a machete for the purposes of cutting vegetation shall register the machete with the local police department on an annual basis and, upon payment of an appropriate annual registration fee as determined by the local granting authority, shall be issued a permit authorizing him to possess the machete solely for the purposes of cutting vegetation.

Machete owners across the Bay State will have to find other tools for hacking up annoying neighbors, as this act is now forbidden.

After last night, perhaps Texans should be expecting similar measures, as the Houston machete murder rate rose dramatically in one weekend. (That's an unconfirmed claim, but I'm pretty sure we didn't have a single machete-related killing in the preceding year or two.) Citizens across the state will soon be rising up to demand our own lawmakers do something about this horrible, violent trend. Machete control cannot help but lead to a safer, more peaceful society for all.

Machete owners beware!