Gorilla My Dreams

Conservatives in the gay marriage debate often make the argument that allowing same-sex couples to marry is just one step away from allowing marriages between three-or-more individuals, between immediate family members, or even between humans and other species.

Their liberal opponents counter that these are ridiculous assertions are unfounded, that no one is (currently) asking for them, and that U.S. lawmakers would never allow such partnerships to become legal.

But considering the high courts recent propensity for using European laws to interpret our own constitution, this news from Madrid might be cause for concern:

Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero's Socialist government has legalized gay marriage, reduced the influence of the Catholic Church in education and set up an Equality Ministry.

Spain's parliament voiced its support on Wednesday for the rights of great apes to life and freedom [ed.: and the pursuit of happiness?] in what will apparently be the first time any national legislature has called for such rights for non-humans. Parliament's environmental committee approved resolutions urging Spain to comply with the Great Apes Project, devised by scientists and philosophers who say our closest genetic relatives deserve rights hitherto limited to humans.

I fully expect the first order of business once this passes to be a lawsuit brought by the Grape Ape Project against anyone referring to wedding tuxedos as "monkey suits."

The Personal Touch

I've heard of "giving her the finger," but this is going a little too far:

CORPUS CHRISTI - A woman received a severed human finger in the mail along with a threatening letter from her ex-boyfriend that said, "This is my last chance to touch you," police said.

Ewww!


Hat-tip: Lone Star Times

Fresh from the Garden

Not to be outdone by the new McFungus Asian Salad, Burger King unveiled its newest all-natural garden salad this week in the Netherlands.

A woman eating at a Burger King restaurant in the Netherlands found a live frog in her salad, the company confirmed Sunday. [snip]

Dutch newspaper Algemeen Dagblad quoted the customer, identified as 23-year-old Astrid Roek, as saying "it was a big black thing, a frog or a toad."

There is no news yet as to when the new menu item will be featured in the Houston area. When it is, expect to hear that old familiar question: "Do you want flies with that?"

New Rash of Global Warming

Global warming is once again the culprit, according to the latest scientific studies:

Another reason to worry about global warming: more and itchier poison ivy.

The noxious vine grows faster and bigger as carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere rise, researchers reported on Monday.

And a carbon dioxide-driven vine produces more of its rash-causing chemical, urushiol, concluded experiments conducted in a forest at Duke University where scientists increased carbon dioxide levels to those expected in 2050.

So if anyone survives the increased storms and devastating floods to be caused by global warming, they better beware — poison ivy is out to get us all!