Liar, Liar, Lance on Fire

Fellow Texan, cancer survivor, and seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong is in big trouble with the law over in Europe:

Armstrong has been ordered to stand trial in Italy on charges of defaming cyclist Filippo Simeoni.

Now I'm no expert on the law, but I have to wonder how you can defame someone who's never been famous to begin with. I mean, do you remember this Filippo character ever winning the Tour da French? Yeah, me neither.

Simeoni told an Italian court in 2002 that doctor Michele Ferrari advised him to take performance-enhancing drugs. Later, Armstrong reportedly called Simeoni a liar, and the Italian sued for libel.

Oh, defame! French (and apparently Italian) for "You beat me so now I'm gonna run tell my Mommy and get you in trouble!"

If I recall, we used to settle this kind of grade school squabble out behind the merry-go-round.