Gorilla My Dreams

Conservatives in the gay marriage debate often make the argument that allowing same-sex couples to marry is just one step away from allowing marriages between three-or-more individuals, between immediate family members, or even between humans and other species.

Their liberal opponents counter that these are ridiculous assertions are unfounded, that no one is (currently) asking for them, and that U.S. lawmakers would never allow such partnerships to become legal.

But considering the high courts recent propensity for using European laws to interpret our own constitution, this news from Madrid might be cause for concern:

Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero's Socialist government has legalized gay marriage, reduced the influence of the Catholic Church in education and set up an Equality Ministry.

Spain's parliament voiced its support on Wednesday for the rights of great apes to life and freedom [ed.: and the pursuit of happiness?] in what will apparently be the first time any national legislature has called for such rights for non-humans. Parliament's environmental committee approved resolutions urging Spain to comply with the Great Apes Project, devised by scientists and philosophers who say our closest genetic relatives deserve rights hitherto limited to humans.

I fully expect the first order of business once this passes to be a lawsuit brought by the Grape Ape Project against anyone referring to wedding tuxedos as "monkey suits."